


Runaway

by VoidLeviathan



Series: Coffee-Stained Books - Extra Bits [8]
Category: HLVRAI - Fandom, Half Life VR But The AI Is Self Aware
Genre: Anxiety, But like..just a small one, Domestic Fluff, Emotional Hurt/Comfort, Fluff, M/M, Panic Attacks, Walking
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2020-07-19
Updated: 2020-07-19
Packaged: 2021-03-05 01:35:43
Rating: General Audiences
Warnings: Creator Chose Not To Use Archive Warnings, No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 1
Words: 968
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/25376284
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/VoidLeviathan/pseuds/VoidLeviathan
Summary: He should just run.Should just change his name again.Should just change everything and try to hide his past again.“No. Nope. Thinking like that won’t get you anywhere, Freeman.”---Follow up fic to"A Deer in the Headlights"
Relationships: Benrey/Tommy Coolatta/Gordon Freeman
Series: Coffee-Stained Books - Extra Bits [8]
Series URL: https://archiveofourown.org/series/1768609
Comments: 2
Kudos: 68





	Runaway

Freeman stood on the edge of his doorstep.   
  
The night was cool and the bitter bite of the cold air slowly ate away at his skin as he tried to calm himself down. He wanted to run away. To get away from the others as fast as possible and just never look back. Leave them before they could leave him. Lungs heaving for air and mind racing, he tried to think of where he even wanted to go.   
  
Where was he going to go?   
  
It wasn’t exactly like he could just walk over to Gordon and Barney’s place without warning. The last time he did that, Gordon chewed him out a little before asking him what was wrong. But he needed somewhere to be that wasn’t currently here. Currently home. He didn’t need to wake Benrey and Tommy again over something like another late night panic.   
  
He shook his head a little too aggressively, trying to get his thoughts to settle so he could properly _think_. What would Coomer tell him to do in a situation like this? What was it that he said back in therapy the other day? He couldn’t remember right.   
  
Something along the lines of _‘If you’re feeling overwhelmed then try to do something to help clear those thoughts and come back.’_   
  
Something like that.   
  
He should just run.   
Should just change his name again.   
Should just change everything and try to hide his past _again_.   
  
“No. Nope. Thinking like that won’t get you anywhere, Freeman.” He shook his head again, “Think of- think....just think…” a shaky sigh. What would he even think of? What was there to think of other than the fear of losing everyone over again? Would running even stop him from being hurt? Would it save him at all this time?   
  
No.   
  
He would just have to walk for now and think later.   
So walking was what he did. Wasn’t sure where he’d go but the neighborhood was familiar enough and if he got lost well then maybe that was for the best.   
  
“No stop. Don’t think like that. Anything but that.” he told himself. “Think of...think of the time Tommy first talked to you. Think about that. God you were such an asshole huh? Just a dick. But he didn’t- he just- he didn’t get mad at you for it. Totally understood the situation and helped you. You’d do anything for Tommy.” he chuckled a little. Man he really was an ass to Tommy now that he thought about it. Yet Tommy persevered and here they were now, a life full of love and reassurance with Benrey.   
  
There was so much to say about Benrey.   
  
He didn’t deserve Benrey.   
Not after what Freeman did to him back in college.   
  
“It wasn’t fair on Benrey. You should have just told him how you were feeling. All those years of you and him just avoiding one another for what? He would have understood...he does   
understand. He understands and he forgives you, but do you deserve that forgiveness?”   
  
Did he deserve it?   
  
No….  
....Yes  
  
Yes he deserved it.   
  
“I deserve that forgiveness because I worked for it. We both worked for it. We spent a few years coming to terms with everything and we pushed past the differences and figured it all out. We’re happy now, Benrey and I. We have each other and we have Tommy and they’d never leave me unless I did something truly awful to both of them because we love each other that much.”  
  
Then why was he running?   
He wasn’t running.   
He was walking.   
  
And he would continue walking and stop thinking for the next half hour.   
  


* * *

  
Tommy and Benrey reasonably were both quite startled when they woke on a weekend to Freeman not also being in bed. Ever since the incident a few months back, the two of them had been very alert in case it happened again. Worried Freeman would leave and they wouldn’t know where to find him or how to help.    
  
As they both frantically made their way out into the living room, they stopped short thanks to the current sight within the kitchen. At least it explained where their boyfriend had vanished to. Because there was Freeman happily cooking away and softly humming to himself.    
  
Happier than they’d ever seen him really.    
  
He paused what he was doing when he finally noticed them both standing there.    
  
“Oh! Uh- morning guys. What are you-”    
  
“You’re still here.” Benrey sighed, “We thought-”   
  
“You thought I left? I uh- I mean...yeah thats fair. I kinda thought about it last n- this morning. I woke up from a really bad nightmare and it kinda drove my brain haywire I think? Wanted to run. To just leave and...well I started spiraling and-”   
  
Tommy hugged him tightly. “You could have woken us up you know.”   
  
“Yeah well then you’d both be exhausted again. Anyway I went on a walk for a bit? Thought about things. Realized I didn’t actually have anywhere to run to and that uhm...that my brain was being stupid I guess. Came back and decided you two deserved breakfast. I made pancakes and eggs, there was going to be bacon too but we’re sorta out of it because someone eats so much.”    
  
“Hey! Tommy eats a lot too don’t just look at me like that.” Benrey laughed, joining on on the hug. “Seriously. Don’t scare us like that again...but uh- glad to see you’re good or whatever.”    
  
“Right I’ll be sure to wake you guys up at Four A.M. next time to tell you I’m going on a walk only for Tommy to get mad and you to just groan and roll over. Great plan Benrey.”    
  
“Best plan. Good plan. Long as we know you’re safe.” 

**Author's Note:**

> Come get yall's food I guess.  
> enby-crow on tumlr is where to find me as always.


End file.
